Changes and Non-Changes

As we grow up, things change.  Our bodies, our circles of friends, the size and makeup of our families, our levels of responsibility.  What I'm wondering about and contemplating is this: What about our souls?  Do they change a lot?  A little?  At all?  What do you think?  My personal opinion is that they change a little or hardly at all.  Yeah, they may be covered up and reined in and quieted by our adult minds and egos, but they're there.  We're all children, way down deep.  Some deeper than others.  Why else would some people become whiny, needy, insecure messes when ill or frightened?  Why else would we develop insaciable, wide-eyed fascinations with certain subjects?  How else would authors have the imagination to create such lovable and enduring characters?  There isn't much "inner" about my inner child.  I'll admit that.  It's either on my shoulders or sitting next to me most of the time.  It doesn't much like staying in, and it comes out to make me look like a fool more often than not.  But, without it, I wouldn't even have the capacity to be a fool.  Isn't that part of the fun of life, the ability to be a fool once in a while (or more often, if you'd like)?

"Have To" Person

I've never been a "have to" person.  "I can't do that!" "Well, you have to."  If I can't do it, I can't do, for whatever reason.  Telling that I "have to" do something isn't going to make me do it.  It might make me ashamed, but it won't make me do it.

No "But" Here

We all feel the need to look back to our childhoods sometimes.  Most people will admit and acknowledge this.  They will say that it's true and that they've felt that way.  However, the next phrase out of their mouth usually begins with "but" and continues in a contradictory phrase used to affirm their adulthood and put dreamers back into their proper place.  Well, there will be no "but" here.  We all need to look back at our childhoods sometimes.  I admit and acknowledge it, and I feel that way often.  No "but".  No curveball.  It's a fact that needs no justification.

Anyone Else Have This?

Okay, I gotta ask.  Does anyone else have The Sicky Brigade within their Facebook or MySpace friends?  Those people who, seemingly everyday, post statuses like this: "So sick ", "Ugh!  I'm sick AGAIN :-(", "My sinuses are killing me! >:(", "Feel awful.  Just wanna go back to bed".  The people that make you wonder just how sick someone can be and still be coherent enough to complain about it online.  Have any people like this in your friend list?  Let's all get together and tell them to go to the hospital and stop filling the screens of us laymen with their health problems.

My World

My world shattered when I started school.  And, all the pieces were pushed to the side so I could see clearly (not discarded, but pushed to the side) about a year later, when both my first pair of goldfish and Shari Lewis passed away within the same few months.  My mom told me about both of these occurrences.  My fish on the way home from the seashore, and Shari while I was sitting on the living room floor, not aware of what my mom was about to tell me.  I didn't cry when she told me about either of them.  I didn't feel much of anything.  No, I did.  I felt pride for the first time.  Not in myself, but in her.  For some strange reason, I felt proud of my mom for telling me.  I still don't know why that was.  I just know it was the strongest sense of pride I've ever felt.  I may not have had a true sense of loss or sadness at these deaths, but I grew up a lot that summer/fall.  I think that's when I actually started to grow up.

Time Away

I need some time away from Facebook, if only for the rest of the night.  I have decided that.  I have seen one swear word-filled status too many, and my inner 5-year-old is pulling me away from the overall roughness of many of my contemporaries.  I know that sounds childish, and maybe it is.  But, so am I.  I always have been and always will be.  When I think about being a child, the scene that comes to my mind right away is sitting in the living room of our old house, watching "Lambchop's Play-Along".  That was innocence.  That was pure fun.  That was before anyone died, went to school, had any responsibility, had any complication in their life.  That was before the world exploded.

Give Children's Media Its Due

Okay, as anyone who knows me would be all-too aware of, I have an obsession with (good) children's media (i.e. TV shows, movies, books, music), especially that which I actually enjoyed as a child.  Call me weird or a baby if you want, but there can be a depth and profoundness hidden beneath the silly songs and simple sentences.  Example: "Little Bear and the Wind" (on the 90s-00s Nick Jr. show "Little Bear")  Little Bear is trying to sleep, but the very windy, stormy night is causing all sorts of spooky noises that keep him from doing so.  So, he wanders out of his room and over to Mother Bear's.  When she's not there, he continues looking and finds her knitting in the living room.  As he sees her from the back, we see her from the front, and a crash of thunder rings out.  She looks up from her knitting with a worried look on her face (Little Bear doesn't see this).  He approaches her and tells her that he's scared.  To calm Little Bear's fears, Mother Bear tells him a story about how Father Bear, who is a fisherman and currently away working, "knows" the wind and his tricks and can get through even the worst storms.  She even says that he rescued other sailors in peril.  The story comforts Little Bear and even thrills him, so what Mother Bear set out to do worked.  But, do you see another reason why she told that story?  I do.  The worried look.  Remember?  There is a storm going on, and Father Bear is out on the ocean.  She's worried about him.  She didn't just tell that story to reassure Little Bear.  She told that story to reassure herself.  I see that now.  I see all sorts of things like that now.  Have you ever seen anything like that?

One-Day Friends

I was just thinking, and an element of childhood that is often overlooked spontaneously came to my mind.  One-day friends.  You know, those little girls and/or little boys that you meet on a trip of some sort.  A day trip, a vacation, a day at the playground or the mall.  When I was 6, I even met one at a funeral, as crazy as that sounds!  You meet, you give each other your first names and ages, and you play.  You play for hours, possibly, and have an amazing time, most likely.  Then, you say "goodbye", leave, and never see each other again.  Those friends.

Children can do that.  They have no problem approaching someone and saying, "Hi!  I'm ______!  What's your name?  Wanna play?", never fearing that the kid they're approaching will hurt them or not turn out to be a good friend.  All they know is that the kid is their age (or circa) and that they might make a good playmate.  They may be each other's bordom remedy.  Wouldn't it be great if everyone could do something like that?  Take on anyone as a friend, if only for a little while?

Don't Go There!

Okay, public service announcement for those of you who have food allergies and live in the Reading, PA area: Four and a half months ago, my parents and I went to a cafe in West Reading called Good Eatz.  Now, let me first state that this restaurant is known for catering to those with dietary restrictions, including allergies.  We all ordered a salad and the vegan lasagna.  I've never been a fan of lasagna, but I decided to give it one more chance.  Well, both the dish and the restaurant completely fell out of favor with me that day.  Within minutes of beginning to eat, I went into an allergic reaction that continued for about 24 hours and included swollen lips, a rash, dry heaving, the worst gas pains of my life, and diarrhea.  When I'd finally recovered from this, I emailed the owner of the restaurant to find out what, exactly, I'd ingested, thinking that they may have changed the recipe for the salad dressing.  He told me all the ingredients for the salad dressing (none of which were a concern for me) and nonchalantly threw in "we've added raw cashews to the 'ricotta' cheese" in the lasagna.  Okay, all together now; say it with me: Cashews are nuts, and nuts are a VERY COMMON ALLERGEN!  LIST THIS ON THE MENU!  Very good!  I told him just that (in a nicer way), but he just said that they'd have to tell the wait staff to be more aware and warn people of these things.  He then apologized and said that I could have a free meal for my trouble, but I will never go back there.  And, I advise anyone with food allergies to think twice before trusting this restaurant with your health (or, possibly, your life!).

The Things that Come to Mind While Snow-Shoveling

Random thought time: Yesterday, while clearing the walk, this came to my mind:  All the craziness of life began when "play" turned into "hang out".  Think about this.  "Hey!  Wanna come over and play?"  How old were you the last time you said that?  10?  11?  Basically, things were pretty good then.  You still had an excuse to do whatever silly things you felt like doing with your friends, you were in elementary school, and there wasn't much to worry about.  Then, 13 (or so) hit, and it was "Hey!  Wanna hang out after school?"  And, the world exploded!  Boyfriends/girlfriends, breakups, weight insecurity, grade obsession, college applications, jobs.  "Play" kept these things away, but "hang out" invites them in to cause a riot.  And, "hang out" is a clever little phrase.  It has a way of telling you when it wants to be said. "People are gonna laugh at you if you say that little old p-word," it whispers in your ear.  "C'mon, I'm so much more grown-up sounding!"  It convinces you, jumps out of your mouth, and leads (or, maybe, kicks) you down the path of adolescence.  Oh, "play", I'm sorry my 13-year-old self retired you.

Good Morning World!

Well, this is my first day blogging, so we'll see how it goes. :-)  We got some snow here in PA yesterday.  Not too much, but enough to be pretty and cause the need to shovel (which I ended up doing all of).  Anyway, this blog will most likely be the launching pad of (well-managed) rants, random thoughts, and, sometimes, what I might consider pubic service announcements.  So, here we go!  I shall begin the "interesting" stuff on my next post.