My World

My world shattered when I started school.  And, all the pieces were pushed to the side so I could see clearly (not discarded, but pushed to the side) about a year later, when both my first pair of goldfish and Shari Lewis passed away within the same few months.  My mom told me about both of these occurrences.  My fish on the way home from the seashore, and Shari while I was sitting on the living room floor, not aware of what my mom was about to tell me.  I didn't cry when she told me about either of them.  I didn't feel much of anything.  No, I did.  I felt pride for the first time.  Not in myself, but in her.  For some strange reason, I felt proud of my mom for telling me.  I still don't know why that was.  I just know it was the strongest sense of pride I've ever felt.  I may not have had a true sense of loss or sadness at these deaths, but I grew up a lot that summer/fall.  I think that's when I actually started to grow up.